Third Time is the Charm!

When I wrote the last post about Roxie, I was already working on an adoption for her.  Of course, I never like to jump the gun and announce something before it actually happens.  After having Roxie all summer long, we had actually toyed with the idea of keeping her.   It just didn't seem like we were going to have any success at finding her a perfect forever home and frankly it was getting hard to keep going back and forth emotionally.  Then I get the email.  The application and the accompanying note sounded almost too good to be true (and usually, they are).  I wasted no time getting started on reference and veterinary checks.  As I spoke to their friends and family members, I began to fall in love with this family. 

They live in College Station, TX.  They have a beautiful home with a giant fenced in yard and...wait for it....a great big inground pool!  My favorite part was that there are two children in the family.  A girl and a boy, 8 and 11 years old, who had been begging for a dog for over a year, since the last family dog passed away.  It was obvious that a lot of time and thought was being put into finding the right dog for the family.  They are very active outdoor lovers and they wanted a dog to take everywhere with them- a true family member.  They wanted a dog that would cuddle with the girl, play fetch with the boy, and go jogging every morning with the mom.  All this and a pool to boot!

I began my communication with them the way I begin with every potential adopter- a long, detailed email.   I NEVER sugar coat my foster dogs.  Any issue, major or minor, each and every bad habit, every little annoying thing they do, I put it all out there, full disclosure (with Roxie, this included the fact that she had already been adopted and returned once).  If that doesn't deter them, I of course follow up with all the things that make the dog so wonderful!  Over several days we talked frequently and I sent tons of pictures and videos of Roxie.  They were "honored" when I told them that I was approving the adoption.  A volunteer from another boxer rescue in their area did the home visit for us and gave a glowing report.  She texted me a picture of a beautiful, custom made, leather collar with ROXIE imprinted on it that sat waiting on the kitchen counter.  Just the sight of that brought me to tears.

We picked a day about 10 days out to meet in Texarkana.  Conveniently, our rescue was having an adoption event at the PetSmart out there.  With me being in Central AR, I rarely get together with the rest of the group so it was the perfect excuse to visit.  Over the week, as the big day approached, Jonathon and I were able to digest the idea of Roxie leaving us and accept that it was for the best. 

When Saturday came, Roxie and I were up and on the road to Texas early (Unfortunately, Jonathon wasn't able to make the trip with us because had his friends flying in that afternoon.).  My first of several crying sessions began almost immediately when the song "I'm Moving On" came on the radio, as if on cue.  After a long drive and a couple of hours at PetSmart with the crew,  Roxie and I headed over to a nearby park to meet her new family.  We arrived first and when the family pulled up it was love at first sight.  The entire back end of their Suburban was filled with toys and treats and blankets for Roxie.  We spent a good hour at the park.  There were hugs all around and the little girl had tears in her eyes when she told me that she would take very good care of Roxie for me and send lots of pictures. When it was time for me to hand over my girl she jumped happily into their car and settled between the children in her giant pile of stuff.  I stifled my emotion as best I could.   As for Roxie, she never looked back.  I knew she would miss us, and the home she had come to love, but in that moment, she was the center of attention and she was loving it. 

Over the weekend I was kept very much in the loop.  She texted me pictures and had lots of questions and stories for me.  It was awesome. 

Then, everything changed when on Monday evening I received a text that just said "Call me as soon as you can please."  Those are words that a rescuer never wants to read.  It's never good.  Nobody ever texts that and then says something like "Oh, she did the cutest thing!"  My stomach was instantly in a knot.  I called her right away to find out from a sobbing voice that they wanted to bring Roxie back.  To say I was shocked is an understatement. 

Although I had them well prepared for Roxie being a trouble maker while home alone, they were not expecting, nor was I, that she would get separation anxiety.  She scratched at the doors and tore down the blinds trying to get out.  She dug a hole under the fence and got loose when they tried leaving her outside for a couple hours instead.  We have always known that she has major crate anxiety, but she has been fine for months when we leave her out when we are gone.  I had even left her home instead of taking her to work with me the entire week before so she would get used to the idea of staying home alone.  She got into things, like puppies do, but she was totally fine.  We had no idea how dependent she was on the other dogs being there with her.

They held out some hope that I could tell them how to fix the problem and give them the answer on how to help Roxie.  Because other than that "She is perfect! She is the sweetest dog we have ever met.  We love her so much already." Sadly, the only answer I could give them was that it takes time and patience.  How long?  I couldn't say.  Separation anxiety is one of the hardest issues to deal with.  It can take an incredibly long time to get under control, and in many cases it's never actually cured.   The goal becomes only to manage it as best as possible.  I told them I didn't think Roxie was an extreme case like that, but I couldn't promise anything.   I explained to them that it wasn't something you could "train" a dog out of.  She wasn't misbehaving, she was having the equivalent of a human panic attack.  As someone who suffered from occasional panic attacks in my late teens and early twenties, I empathize.  During the most severe panic attack I ever had, I actually lost consciousness.  I woke up laying on a restaurant floor, breathing into a bag, surrounded by paramedics.  I am a logical person.  There was absolutely no reason for me to get to that point, but it was a physical reaction that I simply couldn't control.  Dogs have even less control and understanding of anxiety and irrational fears.  You can't punish or yell at an anxious dog.  That will only intensify the reaction.  They understood and agreed with everything I told them. 

She felt terrible admitting that they didn't have the time or the experience to work with Roxie on this issue.  They couldn't live with the stress of not knowing what the house will look like when they get home everyday, not to mention that they knew Roxie was suffering all day.  She told me that this was the hardest phone call she had ever had to make.  She felt that they failed Roxie.  Failed me.  I assured her that it wasn't them that failed Roxie, but the people who had her before she came into rescue.  They had broken her.  The rest of us are trying our best to put her back together.  And as far as failing me, certainly they had not.  Failing me would have been NOT having the courage to call me about the problem.  We talked for a long time.  I assured her that they will make great dog owners and offered to help them find the right boxer, whether from our rescue or a different one, when they were ready.  I could tell she found some comfort in my words. 

The next morning, I was on my way back to Texas to bring home our girl.  The rescue director was able to meet them half way between their home and Texarkana to get Roxie and then I met her in Texarkana.  The kids took the day off school to make the trip with their dad.  They were crying of course, but we told them that Roxie just got to go on a fun trip and meet some new friends. 

Foxy Roxie has been back home for a week now.  Things are back to normal, which in our house is anything but.  We will not fail Roxie.  She will get the forever home that she deserves, and if it turns out that she is already there, well that's fine too.   You don't always choose your dogs when you are a rescuer.  You just end up with the ones nobody else wants.