Conflicted.

That is how I am feeling about what to do with Winston.  We have a rescue in New Hampshire that is willing to take Winston.  It's a great rescue, absolutely.  It's the one that took Buster, the dog that nobody would foster so he remained in boarding here for two months.  They had a foster-to-adopt family already waiting for him at transport pick up!  Transferring to a rescue out east was definitely best for Buster, but he was living in a cage.  I'm not sure that is the best thing for Winnie.  We are his fifth home in seven months!  I understand that the rescue's mission is to save as many dogs as we can and seven months is a long time.  However, as his foster mom, I feel that my personal priority is my obligation is to Winnie.  He has improved dramatically in the month that he has been in our home. I really want him to know stability.  I would certainly be open to him going to an approved forever home out there, pending me spending plenty of time talking with them first, but moving to yet another temporary home just doesn't seem fair to him.  At the same time, I think about the three dogs of mine that went to homes in DC and they are some of my best adoptions.  His chance of adoption would very likely be better out there.  And then I think maybe I am making the wrong decision keeping him here.  Am I being unintentionally selfish because I don't want to give up control of where Winston ends up?  Or arrogant, like we are the only home that could possibly meet Winston's needs?  Because although that has proven true thus far in his life, I know there are plenty of people out there as good as I, or even better, for him.  But how will I know if he finds them if I let him go? 

Any words of advice would surely be appreciated. 

Winston Progress Report

Winston is making steady progress with his excitement issues and his anxiety is much less present.  He has learned that we don't always have to be doing something and is willing to relax on the couch most nights.  I make sure that he either comes to work with me, goes on a long walk, or plays ball at the dog park every day.  If ever a day of adequate exercise is missed, it's very evident in his energy level that evening. We have cut way back on the Composure (natural calming supplement) and some days he doesn't take any at all.  He had a milestone this weekend.  After a very active Saturday, we decided that it would be the perfect time to give him the chance to sleep out of his crate.  He never made a peep all night long.  He has since earned his night time freedom! 

I have come to the realization that Winston, although spastic, probably isn't actually as bad as we think he is. As our dogs mature, we are starting to forget how rotten they used to be when they were closer to his age. I guess we have been spoiled with very well behaved fosters lately too. Sweet Bella was a dream (behaviorally) and the temps have also been pretty easy.

Dixie is surprisingly more tolerant of Winston's exuberance than Jax, who has been more subdued lately and just isn't quite himself yet.  Both of them will discipline Winnie when needed.  I try not to interfere when Dixie is involved.  She knows better than I do when enough is enough yet she never loses her temper. Firm but kind.  Sometimes I step in with Jax.  He tends to let himself get picked on and picked on until he gets upset.  Jonathon says he is a wuss.  I prefer "over sensitive."  What I would do without my two canine helpers, I can't imagine.  They have really made a difference in this dog's life.

Besides the issues we are working on, Winston is an awesome dog.  He has one of the best temperaments of any dog we have ever had.  He is just joyful all of the time.  He has no fears (now that we have cleared things up with the food processor) and he is incredibly outgoing and friendly with all strangers.  He knows "sit," "down," and "leave it."  He will play fetch forever.  We are working on walking nicely on a leash.  Our biggest challenge there is the abundance of squirrels that share our neighborhood.  He is perfectly behaved in the car and at the office.  He almost never barks and hasn't had a single accident in the house since he got here. 

He loves kids, so he will fit well into an active family that will spend plenty of time with him, take him places, and fulfill his exercise needs.  They will need patience and the ability to understand his energy level and that it is not "misbehaving."  I would feel awful if anyone tried to "punish" him for simply being his happy-go-lucky self. 

Overall, Winnie just needed some stability in his life.  Now that he is getting into the routine that dogs count on, he has really come around.  His whole life people have given up on him.  That was his biggest problem. 

Winston Pictures!

With everything going on with Jax, I never got around to posting any pictures of Winston! 

Isn't he lovely?

 

 

ATTENTION!

 

Dixie always likes to one up the boxers.

 

Winston helping me at work.

 

 

 

 

This is Jax's surgery site for those of you that were asking how big and where it is.  Not too bad.  The scar will surely be visible, but we couldn't care less!

 

Oncology Report

Jax's surgery went well on Monday but the poor guy was very sick that night.  The anesthesia combined with the treatment medications (high dose antihistamines along with steroids) really got to him.  He was dizzy and nauseated and throwing up all night.  He looked incredibly pathetic.  I felt awful for him and stayed up trying to comfort him and cleaning up vomit all night.  By morning, he was perking up a bit and by the next day, if not for the suture site in the middle of his back, you'd have never known he'd had the surgery at all. 

We got the oncology report back and for a cancer diagnosis, the results are as good as we could hope for!  The tumor was a grade 1 mast cell tumor.  Grade 1 means that it is well differentiated and is the least likely to spread into other organs.  Even better, the margins on the tumor were completely clean which means there should be no cancer cells left behind.  My awesome vet got every bit out!  That means no chemo or other follow up treatment needed!  It also makes it much less likely for a new tumor to develop there (Statistically, 50% of mast cell tumors that are surgically removed come back in the same area.).

He does have to go back in a couple of weeks, once all treatment drugs are out of his system, and get his blood work rechecked.  There was an abnormality in his liver function test.  We are hoping it was due to the medications or even technical error (like not getting a clean stick when drawing blood) but we have to make sure there is nothing more serious going on.   

We will have to monitor Jaxy closely for the rest of his life for lumps and bumps and have anything that shows up removed immediately.  It does scare me that the disease struck so early in his life.  Mast cell cancer usually presents in dogs at least eight years old.  He will be just four in November.  I understand the nature of the disease and that it may likely return.  But we won this battle!  So, like the dogs do, I am going to live in the present.  And presently, we are Cancer free! 

The bad news.

My heart is pounding as I type.  I just returned from the vet.  My Jax, my sweet, always happy, amazing boy, has cancer.  Cancer.  I just can't believe it.  The awful feeling in my stomach started when the doctor was in the back room way to long to be looking at a "normal" cell biopsy.  Her face as she slowly re-entered the exam room said it all before she even spoke.  She nodded and I knew. 

It's in the form of a small lump on his back that started out looking like a hive but then shrunk.  Turns out, it's a malignant tumor.  Doc thinks it's a mast cell tumor, one of the most common cancers in this heart break boxer breed that is so prone.  He goes in for surgery first thing on Monday morning.  I wanted the weekend to let this soak in and to let Jax enjoy himself before we begin the fight of his life.  They will remove the mass and the surrounding tissue and send it to the lab for the oncology report so we can get a definite diagnosis.  They will also do a complete blood chemistry profile and cbc pre-surgery to gather more information and be sure that there is no sign of cancer anywhere else inside of him before they put him under.  I'm so scared. 

If it's mast cell cancer, it's something that we will likely battle with forever.  New masses will develop, maybe in years, maybe in weeks.   It's not a death sentence, as long as the tumors develop in places that they can be completely removed and it doesn't progress into his lymph nodes. 

Although I haven't even begun to process it myself, I needed to post this gut wrenching news right away.  This blog and all of you who follow it have become a support system for me and I ask for your prayers and positive energy.  It worked on Bella.  I really believe that.  Please send them our way again.  I can't imagine losing my best Buddy.  He means the world to me.

Welcome Winston!

Winston is a two-three year old dark brindle male boxer.  He is cute, sweet, and about as friendly as they come.  He already went through heartworm treatment in the spring and is now physically healthy.  Sadly, we are Winston's fourth foster home since he was rescued from a shelter in Louisiana almost seven months ago.  He was also in boarding for several weeks in between foster homes when nobody would take him.  

The reason that Winston has had no success in his various homes is because people have had a hard time dealing with him, saying that he is out of control.  He has anxiety issues which unfortunately most people don't understand.  He isn't fearful at all and the anxiety doesn't seem to be related to separation.  It's unusual behavior and I haven't encountered a case quite like him.  I don't know where it stems from, but I'm sure being passed around from place to place to place has only made it worse. 

He has endless energy but you don't even notice the anxiety until it's time to settle down.  Even when he is exhausted, he doesn't know how to relax and you can see that he is stressed trying to figure out what to do.  He is completely restless.  He pants heavily, he licks constantly, and he paces around the house.  

This anxious behavior needs special attention.  In the past, he has been sentenced to a crate. He is very good in a crate, surely because he has spent so much time in one, and locking him up would certainly be easier for us, but he will never overcome the behavior unless we help him to by facing it head on.  Avoiding these types of issues for our convenience isn't being fair to our dogs.   Although this type of behavior is unwanted by us, it isn't an intentional behavior and therefore should not be punished.  It's misuse of the wonderful training tool that is the crate.  It's comparable to something I was just talking about with my neighbor the other day- a bark collar.  Not a fan!  Sure, it may stop a dog from barking but it certainly isn't addressing the issue. The barking itself isn't the problem, it's a symptom of a problem.  A dog that barks for no reason is usually a dog that is bored and/or frustrated.  Punishing a dog for releasing energy in the only way it knows is just not fair.  Continuing to keep Winston locked up so he is calm and doesn't bother us will only make him worse in the long run. 

We have started the rehabilitation by only crating when we leave and at bedtime.  No matter how frustrating, Winston stays out of the crate with the family.  I even put up with him during the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy!  And that was not easy.  I have also been using the Thundershirt when it's time to try to relax.  He is taking a supplement called Composure a few times a day.  I try to do relaxation exercises with him.  They must be working a little because the other morning after an hour and a half of play time, I put the shirt on him and laid on the couch with him and we both fell asleep and I was 40 minutes late to work!  Most of all, we try to practice our own calm behaviors.  We usually play pretty rowdy in this house and are trying to adjust our overall energy a little bit until he can handle more stimulation without instantly flipping out. 

Dixie and Jax have been great, as usual.  He was getting beaten up by the dogs in his most recent foster home, which is why he was removed. He has scars all over his face and legs. Our dogs are used to unstable behavior so they put up with him as best they can when he can't control himself.  For the most part, they love to play with him and he is keeping them very busy and getting them in shape for hiking season, which is just around the corner! 

He is a great dog, but he needs a lot of work.  He will probably be here for a while. 



 

Bella Pictures

As promised, here are some fun pictures of Bella!  The two pool pics are older, but the rest were all taken her last morning at our house and then at Jen's. 



Surfer Dog!



Jax and Bella "floating"

 



 

Action shot!  (Buster was a temp foster.  He lives in NH now)

 

The plus side of having two fosters at once. Never a third wheel!

Napping with big sis.



This is one of my favorites of her!

 

Jen, Daisy and Bella.  The new family!



Another family photo.



My last night with my girl:-(